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Dating 101: How to Tell the Duds From the Studs

Take this simple quiz to find your perfect mate

By Dating expert Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. Updated: May 22, 2009
Dating expert Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.
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You can find a love match no matter what your circumstance is and/or your relationship needs are. College students, laid-off folks, divorcees, single parents, and recession-proof millionaires are all seeking a mate while dating online, and/or dating offline. Not to mention looking for that soul mate! Especially right now, when the number of online daters are soaring -- and being single, at any age, is becoming more commonplace.
Dating is a numbers game. Absolutely a numbers game.
So you do need to separate what I call the DUDs (Definitely Unworkable Dudes/Dudesses) from the STUDs (Seriously Terrific, Utterly Devoted).
Use the quick test below to determine if someone is worth dating by identifying their positive behaviors. This will help you weed out those who are heartbreakers and problematic love matches, or who are unworkable.
Remember, there is no perfect partner -- including you. Like raw diamonds, we are all flawed and require honing and polishing. And as a single searching for the ultimate companion, you can discover that diamond in the rough -- that someone who you can truly thrive with.
As you're getting to know a potential partner, keep in mind these DUD/STUD quiz questions to determine if he/she is a dating contender for you:
1. Is this person crazy about you?
  • Shows eagerness to see you
  • Reveals reluctance to leave your presence
  • Asks about your life interests
  • Wants to be helpful
  • Is verbally and physically affectionate
  • Desires to be romantic with you
  • Acts like you are very special; rejects opportunities to date others
Dating Contender = yes on at least four of the above
2. Is this person willing to grow with you?
  • Accepts suggestions/advice well
  • Engages in self-reflection
  • Willing to learn new things with you
  • Takes courses for personal or career growth
  • Meditates/prays or is comfortable with one's own spirituality
Dating Contender = yes on at least two of the above
3. Does your date meet the basics?
  • Exhibits reliability, honesty, and altruism
  • Wants a real, committed relationship
  • Agrees with your choice to have, or not have, children
  • Enjoys or pursues careeer success and/or financial independence
  • Understands your religious faith -- or your absence of a specific faith
  • Leaves all past romances with anyone else
  • Shows love and support of family and friends
  • Lives close to you
Dating Contender = yes on at least four of the above
More Dating Tips:
Dr. Diana Kirschner's new book, "Love in 90 Days", is the basis for her upcoming PBS TV special "Finding Your Own True Love." For over 25 years, she has helped thousands of single women find lasting love. Her free etips are available at www.lovein90days.com.
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